Skinny Shaming

I am fat..I am just over 5 feet tall and weigh about 160 pounds and guess what that is fat.  I may be somewhat healthy. I walk 2 miles 5 day a week with my dog (who is also fat) and try to go to the gym a few days a week to run on the treadmill.  When the weather gets nice I will take my other dog for a run and not go to the gym.

In November of 2013 I ran a 5K in about 33 minute and on September 11 2013 I did the stupid workout of the day below (I can’t let the terrorist win) I think it took me about just under an hour to do it (I ran I really  hate the rowing machine).

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So I am in decent shape and am pretty healthy but I am not happy with my weight and look. I am working hard on losing weight. So when I see things like this on the internet.

 

or even a picture with James Bond himself

It makes me feel ashamed because I want to be thin.  I want to weigh 115 pounds because that is what I THINK makes me more attractive. I should not be made to feel bad because I want to be thin and not have “curves”.  No one should be shamed for their size but all the women out there who are bigger and post things like this and just bullying girls who are skinny or want to be skinny.  Why do you have to tear me down so that you can say it’s ok to be big.  Guess what it’s ok to be whatever size you want and you don’t have to say someone else is wrong.  As long as you are healthy who cares.  Don’t say something because I don’t have the points to eat a cupcake it’s takes a lot for me to not eat it and cheat on my diet, you really don’t have to say anything at all about what I do and don’t eat it’s not your business.

I was always thin in high school and college and didn’t have to worry about anything.  I got a desk job and got older and I can no longer eat like I use to.  I don’t have an eating disorder and never have, I hate to vomit and get really grumpy when I don’t eat so that will never be an issue.  What I do do is follow the Weight Watchers plan and log everything eat and don’t go over my daily points.  If I want a cupcake while sitting at my desk that is fine as long as I spend the 8 points on it and it may mean I have a salad for lunch.  I tried counting calories and things like My Fitness Pal and that does not work for me at all.  I am short and 2000 is not a lot and nothing is calorie free (where in Weight Watchers I can eat as many cucumbers as I want). WIth My Fitness pal in 6 months I lost 4 pounds in the month or so  I have been doing Weight Watchers I have lost 8.4.  I don’t push my diet or size on anyone so stop putting yours on mine.   I don’t ever make people conform to my diet restrictions. If you go out with me to a restaurant I will find something I can eat or use my flex/exercise points to eat.  You may not realise but I spend hours before we go out anywhere looking over the menu and figuring out the points on the different meals so that I don’t cause issues to your dining experience so don’t comment on what I eat. Maybe just maybe all the women making these comments and posting these pictures really are not  happy with their curves or health and it’s easier to post a picture to make me feel bad than to do something about yourself.

Also this whole thigh gap issue that seems to be a thing.  The only reason I don’t have one at this moment is because of all the fat on my upper thighs (it is when I keep the most weight) if I lose any weight at all I will have one.  For me it is a easy way to tell the progress I have made.   I have a thigh gap because of Genu Varum  (bowlegged) It is a deformity that can cause problems in fact it caused my grandpa to have a knee replacement.  Seeing all these pictures of why they are bad, ugly, fake, for people who are too thin or not in shape. Nature and genetics gives me a thigh gap and most likely will cause me to have issues later in life but thanks for making me feel bad for having one.

Women come in all sizes and should not be shamed for any of them. Some people like “curves” others like women who are thin, some like muscular women but all of these body types are “real” women.  I find thin and fit more attractive and aren’t I who matters most in my life If I don’t find myself beautiful then how can anyone else.

 

Fake Geek Girls

This term has been coming up a lot lately in the media and I guess I really do not

understand it. What exactly is a fake geek girl? I guess I just don’t get what they

mean by that. I could technically be a fake geek girl I guess. I grew up in a very small

town, about 500 people with 4 flashing red lights, a gas station, Tasty Freeze and a

pizza/bait/video rental store. You could not get cable so we had 3 TV stations with an

antenna on top of the house that had to turn if we changed what we were watching.

We did not have any place that sold comics and I didn’t know about graphic novels at

the local library. So my comic knowledge comes from cartoons, TV shows, and movies.

It took a long time to find one without Marvin and Wendy!

 

I loved Super Friends and Spider-Man and his Amazing Friends. In my world Spider-Man has a weakness to electricity because he did in the cartoon.  It took me years

to accept that his name was Bruce Banner not David Banner and that a reporter was

not following him around.  I still have trouble with the fact that Wonder Woman can fly

without the plane. Vicki Vale was a real person Bruce Wayne dated and Joker was a

guy who would not shave his mustache. My actual comic book reading came when I

went to college and my then boyfriend now husband took me to a real live comic book

store and I bought my first comic, Catwoman #1. Does this make me a fake geek

girl because I don’t know the “real” origin of Batman or Green Lantern?  I know what

cartoons taught me and I loved them but what is the right genre to be a real geek? I go

to conventions, I cosplay, hell I got married in a Catwoman Costume but I still think a

Green Lantern killed his girlfriend and put her in the freezer (I combined a lot of stories I

have been told to come up with that one). I have strong opinions about X-Men like the

fact that I think Forge is completely useless. I thought Magneto was not great until the

first movie and I really understood his powers until the first movie and now he is one of

my favorite characters. I have 15 superhero/villain tattoos that all come from character I

love from movies or cartoons, not from books, because I have loved them the longest. I

don’t have the time or money to read every comic so I watch the movies, cartoons and

TV.

What child didn’t love the Batusi?

 

I think people just get angry about what they love. I will jump in on anything involving

Catwoman and the Batman universe because it is my favorite and what I know well.

From the Adam West TV show to the Animated Series to the Movie and even lots of

the comics. I want to smack anyone who thinks Halle Berry did a good job as Catwoman

because that movie was crap. I get angry that Anne Hathaway did not have a whip in

the latest Batman movie. I hate that they had Elektra beat Catwoman in the big Marvel

Vs. DC battle in the 90s (I won’t even go into Lobo vs. Wolverine). I don’t understand

how anyone can think Michelle Pfeiffer (who was amazing) is a better Catwoman than

Eartha Kitt. I get crap because I hated Heath Ledger as the Joker. I have my passions

and I will fight hard for them, but because someone is different does not make them a

fake geek just a different geek.

 

It is the same thing with video games. There are 1000s of different types of video

games out there why is Portal better than Animal Crossing. They are different styles of

games one is not better they take different skill sets. I may know nothing about Halo

but buddy I know not to put the bookworm or Bernie next to the Family or Cell Phone

guy on Diner Dash or you won’t get expert level. I may not know any official moves

on Street Fighter but I can slam buttons good enough to have Cami beat the game.

People really hate playing fighting games with me because of my button pushing style.

While my husband plays Grand Theft Auto on the PS3 I am content finding hidden

objects in Mystery Case File it works for us because we can both play video games at

the same time. I don’t play games like Portal, Halo or Bio Shock because I am not good

at them and even the jerks can say games are not fun if you die every 30 seconds. I

play Lego Batman and Harry Potter because I can finish them and I know the universe

and it takes a special talent to do many of the puzzles in Professor Layton.  I may not

be a gamer but I play video games so am I a fake geek girl?

 

It’s not about defending yourself and proving to the world you are a geek that can be

just as annoying as people saying you are a fake. In the end it comes down to there are

douchebags in all walks of life geeks are no exception and you just have to ignore them

and be confident in what you love and not care what the jerks think. Just remember

don’t be a dick.